“Okay, So What Are We?” The Reproduction of Monogamy in Tinder Couples

The formation of monogamous relationships between individuals who met through dating apps represents a growing phenomenon. Monogamy is the dominant relational model in the Western world, but in the context of dating apps, which foster a plurality of romantic and/or sexual encounters, it cannot be taken for granted. This study aimed to explore how monogamous relationships are constructed among individuals residing in Italy who met their partners via the global dating app Tinder. A total of 24 semi-structured interviews were conducted. We carried out an inductive, reflexive thematic analysis, progressing iteratively from familiarisation with the data to initial coding and, subsequently, to the development and refinement of themes. Researcher reflexivity informed the entire process through the explicit articulation of our feminist and critical positioning, which guided our interpretation of the data. The analysis identifies four core themes which are situated and context-bound: (1) “Constructing a Monogamous Self” shows how monogamous desire is essentialised and individualised, effectively obscuring its normative roots; (2) “Defining the Couple as a Closed Unit” highlights the active boundary monitoring and hierarchization required to maintain exclusivity; (3) “Being a Couple for Everyone to See” emphasises the necessity of external validation in legitimising the bond; (4) “Reconciling the Stigmatised Image of Tinder” explores how participants leverage traditional romantic tropes to counteract the perceived illegitimacy of meeting on Tinder. Collectively, these findings provide a framework for understanding mononormativity as a lived relational logic that shapes self-understanding, expectations, and behaviours in contemporary dating contexts.