Risk of failure and psychopathological development in parents and adopted children

In adoption, the woman lacks the nine months of pregnancy which help her to develop partnership through biological and psychological trasnformations. There is often the problem to elaborate the mourning of being not able to give birth to an own child; there can be a maniacal area of actings in order to show that nevertheless she can be a very good mother and not only a "good enough" mother. So the child may be overwhelmed by parents' care and expectations. Sometimes there is a not elaborated "genetic anxiety" which involves difficulties in individuation-separation process. Parents' necessity, of narcissistic love compared to capability of object love should be taken into consideration. However, we don't want to consider only the "faults" of adoptive parents. There are children, especially children with early traumatic stories, who are not able to have an affective relation and attack every affective bond. Good experiences in early years are the necessary premise for a new hope in a new family. We describe some clinical examples pointing out a few relational problems. Adoption outcome depends on capacity of adoptive parents and adoptive child of psychical working over. We can give our contribution to develop an elaboration and transformation process, but they must be able to share emotions and build up something which can become a real bond between them.